(John In a Pill)

THIS IS AN ACTUAL LETTER FROM THE ARCHIVES OF THE SMITHSONIAN.

2007-04-18T14:09:00.001-07:00

Paleoanthropology Division

Smithsonian Institute

207 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20078

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute,
labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline
post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a
careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform
you that we disagree with your theory that it represents
"conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in
Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it
appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie
doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small
children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie".

It is evident that you have given a great deal of
thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be
quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your
prior work in the field were loathe to come to
contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel
that there are a number of physical attributes of the
specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern
origin:

1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid
remains are typically fossilized bone.

2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is
approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the
threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

3. The dentition pattern evident on the
"skull" is more consistent with the common
domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous
man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the
wetlands during that time. This latter finding is
certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have
submitted in your history with this institution, but the
evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it.
Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie
doll that a dog has chewed on.

B. Clams don't have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we
must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated.
This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear
in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon
dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent
geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie
dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating
is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we
must also deny your request that we approach the National
Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the
concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name
"Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking
personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the
acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately
voted down because the species name you selected was
hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be
Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of
this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is
undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet
another riveting example of the great body of work you
seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know
that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own
office for the display of the specimens you have
previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire
staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next
in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back
yard.

We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's
capital that you proposed in your last letter, and
several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We
are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your
theories surrounding the "trans-positating
fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural
matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile
Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on
the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman
automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe

Curator, Antiquities

The Five Toughest Questions Women Ask Men

2007-04-14T14:20:00.001-07:00

Here are answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask
men.

1 - "What are you thinking?"

2 - "Do you love me?"

3 - "Do I look fat?"

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is
guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce
if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly.

For example:

1 - "What are you thinking?"

The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm
sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a
warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman
you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this
statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really
thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Baseball

b - Football

c - How fat you are

d - How much prettier she is than you

e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this
stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who
was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said,
"I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but
many wrong answers:

2 - "Do you love me?"

The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those
guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes,
dear." Wrong answers include:

a - I suppose so.

b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes?

c - That depends on what you mean by "love".

d - Does it matter?

e - Who, me?

3 - "Do I look fat?"

The correct male response to this question is to
confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then
quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin
either.

b - Compared to what?

c - A little extra weight looks good on you.

d - I've seen fatter.

e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about
your insurance policy.

4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?"

The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a
passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic
accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the
correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers
include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.

b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.

c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.

d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.

e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about

your insurance policy.

5 - "What would you do if I died?"

Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your
untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would
perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's
Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question
of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid exchange:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"

"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the

husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.

"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.

"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.

"Of course I do, dear" he said.

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

"Yes" said the husband.

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife

after a long pause.

"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.

"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let

her wear my old clothes?

"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.

"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down

the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I

suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's

left-handed..."

World's Largest Pothole?

2007-04-14T12:15:00.001-07:00

tee hee

2007-04-13T20:12:00.001-07:00

must be terrible to be blind

http://wickedmoon.com/surf_the_web_blind.php

...

2007-04-13T20:04:00.001-07:00

wow...

i am in a stunned silence

this css... it blows my mind...

http://darrenfauth.com/css-sandbox/css-hover-text.php

duh

2007-04-13T14:40:00.001-07:00

a bad lawyer

2007-04-13T06:57:00.001-07:00

Aaaaah!

Would you hire a man who let this picture of himself make its way online? Sweet baby Jesus on stick, that is scary.

Here's a link to the page that shows he's an actual attorney.

Fuck. I am soooooooo getting sued.

thanks stupidity tracker

sweet jebus!

2007-04-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

WOW!

someone (aside from myself) subscribed!

I am greatly pleased and will begin blogging with new vigor as soon as i get over this stomach bug.

I am moving ALL of the howtos on this site over to my new blog

http://johnshowtos.blogspot.com

wowowowowowow! someone subscribed!
please consider subscribing to the new one :)

first post on the new blog: port forwarding

template

2007-04-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

ugg my old template was too ugly

this is better

steps of a migrane

2007-04-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

guess what happened today?
migrane...

1. start seeing spots

"$&#(@"

2. small pains

"double $&#(@"

3. pain grows

"should i leave?"

4. ask teacher to be excused

"why do i need a buddy to go down with me? its just a headache"

5. arrive at nurse's office

"whats that smell?"

6. enter a dark room to ease the pain

"tripple $&#(@"

7. wait

"..."

8. ask to go home

"did i wait long enough?"

9. call a parent.

"no ones home... maybe the cell phone..."

10. back to the dark room

"..."

11. parent arrives

"finaly"

12. go home

"nice"

13. sleep

"zzz"

14. vomit

"EWWWWW"

15. sleep

how to hide files in an image

2007-04-10T04:35:00.000-07:00

I just figured this out today.
I was looking for a way to host any file I wanted on sites like photobucket and imageshack.

UPDATE: my friend using my digg account just submitted this. this MUST have been posted before so if it was, drop me a link and I'll include it.

so here's how.

1. Find an image to use as the base image. I used a pineapple fish

2. next grap a copy of rar.exe off the net. I found mine in a copy

of Hak.5's USB Hacksaw. there is a *free* copy on http://www.rarlabs.com but that is a tutorial for a later time.

3. find the file that you want to put inside the other image. I decided to put an apricot in the fish.

4. open a command prompt. (start>run>type "cmd")

5. cd to wherever you saved rar.exe, mine was on the desktop *note* your image and other files must be in the same directory as rar.exe

6. run these commands (remove the "")

1. "rar a hide.rar (name of file to be hidden)"

2. "copy /B "(first image name(pineapple fish))" + hide.rar image.jpg"

7. you should now have 5 files, rar.exe, apricot.jpg, pineapple_fish.jpg, hide.rar, image.jpg

8. done!

now when you look at the image, you will only see the first image that you used - the pineapple fish - the other one is hidden inside. to find it, use a rar decompresser. i like 7-zip because its free and open source.

the file that you put inside the image can be any file that you want including exe's
(in fact, i just recently used this trick to give one of my friends an exe thru photobucket)

(its kinda hard to see but thats the aprocot image inside the pineapple fish image)

Truly Tasteless Joke

2007-04-08T07:46:00.001-07:00

A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."

So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to
have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd
hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with?
Drugs? Alcohol?"

The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law
drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday
morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on
my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing
you know, I'm f-----g her."

The boss says, "You f--k your sister?"

The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

via: jokesbee.com

lost

2007-04-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

no, its NOT the tv show

its better

RSS

2007-04-08T07:27:00.001-07:00

translate this page

2007-04-08T07:25:00.001-07:00

crowds

2007-04-08T07:23:00.001-07:00

AAH! EVERYTHING IS SO CROUDED!!!!!!

i have a fix!

pedal

2007-04-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

i almost found a bike today!

riveting, i know

for the past few days I have been going to various bike shops looking for a replacement for my current to-small-to-old-to-broken bicycle. I had narrowed it down to the trek 7.5 when I remembered Harris cyclery the near by bike shop. at the time i saw it as a mixed blessing. i had to look at another shop, but i might find a better bike. so i got a ride and went off. about 10 minutes later we (that is my mom and i (shut it. im not old enough to drive)) arrived at the store. we headed in and were greeted by one of the "crew". this one was an odd one by normal standards but by bicycle-shop-workers he was perfectly ordinary. he did the oh so common run away from you while your trying to buy something routine that is the trade mark of all bicycle-shop-workers. when i cought up he was waiting impatiently to show me this bike. it was nice looking. not great, but i could put up with it. the thing that really got to me was how the red and white ( the only 2 colors) really seemed to clash perfectly. so he aks me how old i am and i say 15. ahh! why do thay always need to ask? shouldent they have some underground cycle-net by now? ITS 2007! any way, i stood on the bike. it was PERFECT fit! it just felt right. kind like those slippers from the sharper image. you know, the really plushy ones. so next thing i know im sitting on the bike outside. coulda teleported and i wouldn't have noticed. so i start biking and i decide that this was THE best bike i had used. really! it just fit. after i turned the corner i could pedal steer and shift places with no hands. the next corner brought me to a kinda dingy parking lot. the kind where you'd think that druggies would meet. as it turns out they do meet there, that would explain the smell! just past the third corner i stand up on the pedals do a full rotation and im on the ground. the left pedal is about 5 feet behind me and my leg is jammed under a bike that is jammed under an SUV. "ouch. that musta hurt." nope. it really didn't at the time. it does now however. anyway im stuck under a bike that is stuck under a gargantuan SUV. oh yes. gargantuan i mean HUGE! it was one of those Chevy's that would serve as a small RV. the other car was a gray Honda i remember that one well because it was the one tuning the corner where i was pinned. obviosly it stopped. but it was only 2 feet away. yeesh that this was NOT clean. also it was from the '80s i think. plus the muffler was hugging the ground quite nicely. the guy in the car had thjis bewildered expression like he had never seen a kid pinned under a bike that was missing the left pedal that was trapped under a small RV sized SUV. gotta prepare for these thing ya know? anyway i manged to pull myself ( and the bike loose (no thanks to the smelly civic.) an i even remembered the pedal! so needless to say i went home. in addition even though the bike was good, i DONT want one from Harris Cyclery. just... no

night!

~John

Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (A CAPPELLA!?)

2007-04-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

wow!
how often do you see a song re-done as creatively as this one?

that doesn't suck?

not often, my friends, not often at all.

its all

2007-04-02T14:48:00.001-07:00

its all in the way you look at it

and my fave...

no need to link, the water mark is fine

its all

2007-04-02T14:47:00.001-07:00

its all in the way you look at it

and my fave...

no need to link, the water mark is fine

The world in an A4 paper

2007-03-31T15:34:00.001-07:00

graffiti

2007-03-26T12:18:00.001-07:00

its a fun crime!

scribe

2007-03-26T12:01:00.001-07:00

the prefomancing toolbar is now orange and called scribe fire

stop?

2007-03-25T08:32:00.001-07:00

did they just decide that stopping was a bad idea?

water drops

2007-03-25T08:30:00.001-07:00

ooooh aaaaahhh...

libws2_32.a

2007-03-09T20:09:00.001-08:00

so, i successfully compiled my first winsock application!

I was having issues with the compiler. turns out i forgot to link the app with libws2_32.a

a simple telnet server is on the way!

and, if anyone knows a good free hosing service, that would be great. one that allows the hosting of HTML PHP EXE's and MP3's (for a radio blog)

cya

myes.....

2007-03-08T18:59:00.001-08:00

hmm.... later than usual...

i like the trend going on over at radio.blog.club

the video on the main page might be a hint, so look out! may be a new way to vlog)

oomp! the office is on! byre!

mleg

2007-02-23T11:52:00.001-08:00

mlegth.

I had a post, but it died.

look at the trailfire, its there.

drrrrr

2007-02-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

so, my "nifty" little prefomancing toolbar just stopped working. expect a decrece in frequency of posts and possibly an increase of quality (no garuntee). meh, i guess it was ok. i have to many tool bars anyway

URL: http://www.dailymotion.com/group/9282/video/xkiv7_bush-maladresse

go there, it's funny. BUSHIZMS! YAY!

neave

2007-02-22T05:54:00.001-08:00

I cant trailmark this so it MUST go to the blog!

URL: http://www.neave.com/imagination/

very fun, i am an artist!

FIRAAAAAA!

2007-02-21T14:45:00.001-08:00

that was a shout of fire...

trailfire! yay! I'm making my own.

john's trail of odds end's and entertainment

yep.

also, I'm part of technorati! see that little thing there?

yep.

so I managed to mis-speel ( technorati. it came out as tecnorati

URL: http://tecnorati.com/

it wasn't all lost, I really liked the music!

all.com, they might be good. i dunno, i don't feel like checking.

now I do!

...

ok, it's the same. same great music.

yep.

UPDATE: the trailfire URL is

http://trailfire.com/yonyonjohn/trailview/27967

you dont need trail fire to look at it! just go look!

PC world endorcements

2007-02-20T06:07:00.001-08:00

pc magazine, the worst of the pc based magazines. all they ever do is compliment software. windows vista - WONDERFUL! I must say it is not wonderful. i tried to use it in one of the best buys near my house. all it really is, is a shiny version of windows xp. all that shiny-ness comes at a price too, you need a great graphics card, a great CPU, lot-o-ram, and many other things. why did they put the (NEW AND IMPROVED!) search bar in the start menu? anyway, I'm getting off topic. pc world sent me a cd today that said in big red letters "ULTIMATE UTILITIES" I poped it in to take a look. PC world put ADS on the cd. blech! then none of the apps that they included were open cource and wordt of all, MOST WERE SHAREWARE!! geez.

PC world endorcements

2007-02-11T10:11:00.001-08:00

Class Mencia

2007-02-05T04:25:00.001-08:00

i dont really like mencia, but i like this ad

butlight, bood light

hilarious!

2007-02-05T04:21:00.001-08:00

bud light always has good comercials, look at the very end.

google plot!

2007-02-03T10:09:00.001-08:00

http://masterplanthemovie.com/website.swf

elevator

2007-02-03T08:25:00.001-08:00

oh dear, but not true! it really converges inside the elevator when a person bumps the stop button. then insits they didnt and proceed to call with the built in phone ignoring any attempts to actualy FIX the problem!

list

2007-02-01T03:57:00.001-08:00

this is a nice list

use it to figure out what's wrong in your life

AIM

2007-01-29T17:13:00.001-08:00

my life is boring, but my IM converssations are the exact opposite.

take this as an example

[January,29 at 20:04:36] john: 16 THINGS YOU CAN DO AT A WAL-MART STORE"

/> 24 boxes of candy that YOU ate and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

/> Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

/> Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

/> Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.

/> Go up to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M on lay away.

/> Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

/> Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

/> When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

can't you people just leave me alone?"

/> Look right into the security camera use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

/> While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

/> Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

/> In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

/> Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

/> When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

/> Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

/> Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

i saw a kid do a 14 once in a target store

i have never been in a walmart

time

2007-01-27T11:14:00.001-08:00

it's been some time. as i said earlyer i have nothing of real ingesting value in my life. well soming mildly intresing has happened, I'm getting my braces in. so start off i had a tooth pulled and spacers put in. joy.

how to pick a masterlock combination lock

2007-01-22T12:59:00.001-08:00

This
tutorial will explain how to open up a master lock with out any
additional equipment. All you need is the lock and your head! Also note
that this should only be used in the case that you forget your own
combination, do not use it for stealing or illegal activities.

Step 1: Get a regular Master Lock, which you already know the
combination for. You can later use another lock, for which you don’t
know the combo, to test your skills.

Step 2: First goal is the find the last number of the combination.
To do this pull down the “U” latch away from the lock. It helps if it’s
attached to something (a locker?) While pulling, start to rotate the
dial from “0” so you know where to end. You will immedieatly notice
that the dial will stick on certain numbers. You may have to slightly
loosen your grip on the “U” each time it sticks so you can rotate.

Step 3: While proceeding with “step 2” be sure to note down all the
numbers where the dial got “stuck” at. When complete and if done
correctly, you should have found 12 different spots.

Step 4: To begin eliminating items, go back and underline all the
numbers where the dial stopped in between two numbers. If the dial
moved to the left/right of a number, but the number was still in the
center leave it in. However cross off all the numbers that were in
between two numbers.

Step 5: You should have crossed off 7 numbers, meaning that 5 are
left on your list. Now looking at the list you should notice that 4 of
the 5 items have the same digit for the one’s place digit. (ex: 05, 15,
25, 35 or 03, 07, 13, 27) Cross off the four items who’s one’s place
digit matches with at least one other number’s one’s place digit.

Step 6: The last number you have left should in fact be the last number of you 3-part combination. (ex ?? ?? 25)
Now looking at the combinations you now only have 10 possiblities for
the first slot and 10 for the second leaving you with a max of a 100
combos to try out. Don’t think that’s a lot because with out the last
digit you would have 64,000 combos to deal with.

Please remember that this should only be used for opening up
locks for which you have forgotten the password for. And also note that
this only works for Master Lock brand locks and doesn’t work on others
such as “American” locks because they have a different mechanism.

so sad...

2007-01-22T12:41:00.001-08:00

no explanation needed and if it wont fit,

0.o

2007-01-21T15:07:00.001-08:00

someone else uses my color scheme!

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Orbitbrown

planet rome.ro: iPod with NES controller running DOOM

2007-01-21T07:55:00.000-08:00

planet rome.ro: iPod with NES controller running DOOM

that is awesome. i got a good soldering gun for christmas maybe i should try to make one of those. now all i need is a nes conteoller and an ipod :P

nothin... u?

2007-01-21T07:37:00.001-08:00

no life post here, just a funny pic.

is there a deep meaning to this? i don't care. it prolly just a high detail map of the LA freeway system.

Grand Theft Photoshop

2007-01-21T07:35:00.001-08:00

I'm not really sure what i want to do with this blog. I need to figure out weather i want to make it about my life or about stuff i find on the net. I kinda like the idea of being able to go back on my life to see what i looked at and what i was thinking about. i guess I'll keep it as both, that way i'll be able to see my life from the beginning of 2007 on.

so to keep waht i was looking at...

it's so mean but i cant stop laughing! I hope their ok over there.

keith

2007-01-21T07:26:00.001-08:00

many of you have undoubtedly noticed how countdown's anchor Keith Olbermann has been saying some bad things about bush (but very true) they are his special comments. from these special comments, he has gained thousands of daily viewers he is at about 300,000 at the time being. it is not that he is a very good anchor, although he was voted the sexiest, but that he says things that others don't. my theory as to why other commentators don't is that they are 1.) to afraid 2.) just too stupid. or 3.) in a republican mindset.

on that note

yes, it's a thumb.

and a usb flash drive! i highly doubt this feature will be in cyborgs but you never know... it would relly ruin the movements uof the thumb unless it was made to be very tiny...

bleg

2007-01-20T18:34:00.001-08:00

yah, it's been a while, that's because there's nothing interesting in my life. oh, did anyone hear about the killing in a Boston school? i know a kid who knows a kid who knew him. distant but true. speaking of Boston, the departed is a great movie. i don't use that pay per post thing. so this is genuine. it's really fun (since i live in Boston) being able to point out various landmarks. of course everyone else in the theater lives in Boston too but it's still fun. i have a photographic memory. that's why this movie was fun. b/c every time i saw a landmark, i could see the rest of the area and figure out where they were. it is also why i can recall a point in time about 4 years ago where there was a red haired man who came into a burgers bagel bakery sporting a black coat(not leather) and tan corduroy pants and a thin beard who claimed to be Jesus. all 3 people in the imediate area had shocked looks on their faces the woman who was infront of him and had just recived her bagel hurried down the line the the less fortunate man and woman behind him just waited while the man sitting across the table from us who's name was T.C. (RIP) with thinning hair, told us that he knew him and to "go on" and "shoo" it took some persuading but the man did " go on" leaving the other 2 customers to purchase their plain buttered bagel and softwhich respectavly. see? the sad part is that it does not work when my emotions are out of sync eg sad tired ect. that is why i cannot remember weather T.C.'s funeral was open or closed casket.

~John

hrrrrmmmmm

2007-01-16T12:30:00.001-08:00

i dunno...

check the map maybe there's a diagonal

oh shoot, i heard they were doing construction

true

2007-01-16T12:19:00.001-08:00

it's a shame that this cartoon is so accurate.

it's a lot like the song "I am the egg head" over in my side bar. this hits really close to home for me because of the global warming trend. all you baby boomers wont have to deal with it BUT WE WILL. you cant ignore those facts! the papers and such say that some scientists disagree. that is true but they are few and far between! it's prolly tainted research anyway.

digg part 2: the nothing post

2007-01-15T18:20:00.001-08:00

This is a post about nothing

digg this

digg

2007-01-15T18:19:00.001-08:00

I am going to add digg connections to my blog post's, I hope none of my non existent readers mind... all it will do is add a little "digg this" picture at the end of the post. I also think that i should start really thinking about the content that i want to put on my blog. and also consider talking about different topics than what i have found online. maybe what happens in my life... I wish, my live is VERY boring.

"teenage boy wakes up and goes to school" - 2 diggs

huh-boy. i wonder whether that extra page hit is worth the embarrassment. I'll submit this post to digg and see what that reader has to say.

"great blog! you know what every great blogger needs? shoes. yes it's a fact that all bloggers that live in the USA and make a salary greater than 100K a year wear shoes. now you can be like them! just go to http://www.shoesrus.com !"

oh gosh, could it be? something blog-worthy! my dad just carried an old office chair up to my mom's home office put it down with out breaking a sweat and promptly screamed in pain. why? because "it didn't hurt until I put it down". i suggested that he should try picking it up (as a joke). he still did it. "OW". so now he's sitting in that chair gulping an anti-inflammatory. tee hee :).

~John

I feel I need that signature because of my new hard hitting posts.

day 2 update

2007-01-15T15:09:00.001-08:00

dinner has changed to some bread with olive oil, pepper, salt, and garlic. delicious... how will i fare at school tomorrow?

image

2007-01-15T12:24:00.001-08:00

need an image editor but dont like paint?

http://www.fauxto.com/edit/index.aspx

fauxto can help. it's a free online image editor that also hosts the images when your done

Fascinating Facts, Trivia, Interesting Thoughts

2007-01-15T11:59:00.001-08:00

* 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

* If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

* No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.

* Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."

* Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

* There are 2 credit cards for every person in the United States.

* Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

* "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language..

* The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

* Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

* "Sleep tight" came from: beds before the 19th century were made of frames of wood that had holes for ropes that were laticed to hold a matress (such as they were). There was a wooden peg/pole that could be placed so that it fitted around the ropes going out and back in on the outside of the bedframe to tighten the lattice of ropes so the bed would not sag. This was done right before you got in bed. (explanation from Gale Barker)

* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

* The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

* The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/twx communications)

* The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

* Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

* A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

* The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

* The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

* The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

* The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."

* The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

* The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

* Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

* If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

* No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl.

* The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".

* The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

* The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

* In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

* It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

* 35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

* Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.

* The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca- Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

* It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

* Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

* 10% of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

* On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

* In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

* Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

* Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.

* Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

* The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

* Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate.

* Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

* Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize that *this* was the day of the changeover.

* The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

* Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with "rejoice."

* In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again, Sam."

* Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."

* More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

* The term, "It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye" is from Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches was, "No eye gouging." Everything else was allowed, but the only way to be disqualified was to poke someone’s eye out.

* A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

* The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

* Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.

* Money isn’t made out of paper, it’s made out of cotton.

* Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

* Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

* The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

* The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

* An ostrich’s eye is bigger that it’s brain.

* The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

* A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

* The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896, Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

* A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

* Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

* Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

* More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

* Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

* Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

* If you keep a Goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

* Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

* The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they startwith.

* If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

* A snail can sleep for 3 years.

* China has more English speakers than the United States.

* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

* You share your birthday with at least 9 million people.

* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is one of the few places in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.

* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.

* If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.

* Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonald's.

* No word in the English language rhymes with month.

* Cat's urine glows under a black light.

* The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

* Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors.

* It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.

* Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

* Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

* One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers - they saw it as competition. It is not as chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

* The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

* On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

* Americans on average eat a total of 18 acres of pizza every day.

* Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

* Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

* The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

* Polar bears are left-handed.

* A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

* The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

* Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

* Butterflies taste with their feet.

* Starfish haven't got brains.

* A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

* The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds

* Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

* Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

* Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? mornings?

* If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

* If a cow laughed, w/could milk come out her nose?

* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

* If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

* Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

* If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

* If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

* When a cow laughs does milk come out its nose?

* How did a fool and his money GET together?

* The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

* How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

* If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

* What’s another word for thesaurus?

* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?

* Why is abbreviation such a long word?

* Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

* How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?

* Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

* When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

* Do blind Eskimos have seeing eye sled dogs?

* Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

* What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

* Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

* Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

* What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Did you know who in 1923 was:

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men should have been considered some of the world’s most successful men. At least they found the secret of making money.

Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these men?

1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane.

3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.

The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship, Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments. Today he is still playing golf and is solvent

how to fly

2007-01-14T15:23:00.001-08:00

this dog is very cool, it looks like one of those asronaught training planes

DANGER

2007-01-14T08:37:00.001-08:00

this church had better be bringing out the big guns.

appendix removal

2007-01-14T06:30:00.001-08:00

Appendix Removal: a guide

by

Louis C.K.

The following is a comprehensive set of instructions that are meant to aid a person who is planning to remove an appendix and has not done so before. It is always preferable, when appendix removal becomes necessary, to have the procedure performed by a person who has some experience, for example: a doctor. Many doctors, especially surgeons, have removed a part of a person already. However, if you know someone who needs their appendix to be on the outside of their body, and you do not want to “drive” them to the doctor, you should be able to perform the procedure, simply by following these easy instructions.

NOTE: TO ATTEMPT THIS PROCEDURE ON ONE’S SELF COULD RESULT IN COMPLICATION INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO; NAUSEA, DIZZINESS, DISCOMFORTS. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REMOVE YOUR OWN APPENDIX UNLESS ALL OTHER OPTIONS ARE NOT CONVENIENT.

WARNING: WHEN PLANNING TO REMOVE A PERSON’S APPENDIX, OR OTHER ORGANS IN A BODY, DO NOT ATTEMPT THE PROCEDURE IN A CROWDED PLACE OR A PLACE WHERE FOOD OR BEVERAGES ARE SERVED.

Remember, before removing the appendix, read this manual carefully, and keep it nearby, during the procedure for reference.

APPENDIX REMOVAL: STEP - BY - STEP

1. PREPARING THE PATIENT: The “Patient” is what we will call the person from who’s body the appendix is to be removed. It is important to prepare the patient before attempting the removal. The first step in preparation, is to tell the patient your intention to remove their appendix. If the patient knows your plans, it will be far easier to gain their cooperation. This step is done simply by saying to the person, “Excuse me, I’m going to take your appendix out now.” In the case that you have not met the patient, it may be suitable to say “Hello, my name is (your name) and I am going to take your appendix out of you. What is your name?”. (NOTE: It is normal for a patient to experience some psychological discomfort or “worry” when told of the impending removal. This is best alleviated by using the phrase “Now, now. I know best.” Comforting the patient prior to the removal will make it easier for them to hold still during the procedure, resulting in less blood escaping their bodies due to gravity and “The Hole” (To be discussed in the next chapter entitled “the Hole”)

2. THE HOLE: The hole is something that must be made in the body of the patient in order to gain access to the appendix. The hole may be created in one of many ways. The simplest way is to pierce the skin with a sharp or hot object, and then cut or slice away an area of skin, approximately the size of a miniature pumpkin. The skin that has been cut away can either be discarded, used to make a stylish hat or saved in a coke can to be replaced after the appendix is removed. NOTE: UPON MAKING THE HOLE, ONE MAY FIND THAT MUCH BLOOD WILL POUR FROM THE BODY. IF MORE THAN FIVE PINTS OF THIS BLOOD ESCAPES, THE PATIENT MAY BECOME “TIRED” OR “NOT ALIVE ANY LONGER”.

3. LOCATING THE APPENDIX: Once the hole is in place it becomes necessary to “locate” or “identify” the appendix, provided that removal of that organ is still the objective of the procedure. The appendix is easily located simply by asking any qualified doctor or surgeon where appendixes are. One should then look in the place recommended by said doctor and see if there is an appendix there. If there is one, you are now prepared to remove it.

4. REMOVAL: To remove the appendix, simply grasp the organ with your hand, curling your fingers around “it”. Then remove by employing one of the following method:

Method A. Walk away from the body containing the appendix until you are exactly ten feet away. Provided that your arms are shorter than ten feet, and you held fast to the appendix, it should now be outside of the body or “removed”. If you find that you did not hold onto the organ while you walked away, go back to the body and repeat the preceding steps, this time saying out loud “I must hold on to this organ, if I mean to remove it.”

Method B: While still holding onto the appendix, ask the patient to “Go over to that table and look for a pen.” Provided that the table is farther away from you than is the length of your arm, you should now have the appendix in the area outside the body or, once again, “Removed”.

5. AFTER THE REMOVAL: Once the removal is complete you can do whatever you desire, including but not limited to: going to a restaurant, committing suicide, winning an Emmy® Award.

NOTE: IF YOU NEED TO PERFORM A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT, MERELY REPLACE THE WORD “APPENDIX” WITH THE WORD “KIDNEY” IN THIS MANUAL, FOLLOW ALL INSTRUCTIONS AND THEN REVERSE THE PROCEDURE.

funnyest thing ever

2007-01-13T18:21:00.001-08:00

i have ssen some very funny stuff but theese warning labels take the cake!

url: http://luckypuppy.bravehost.com/WARNINGLABLES.html

On a fireplace log --

"Caution: Risk of Fire."

On a bar of Dial soap --

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding --

"Product will be hot after heating."

THE DANGER

2007-01-13T18:16:00.001-08:00

could it be? yes, it is! it's an iphone cartoon!

i'll assume its an insult

GOSH

2007-01-13T13:32:00.001-08:00

how could you be so stupid. oh my god.....
is he ok? physically? yes. mentally? ... no.

url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZT5mQLy5C4

pix!

2007-01-12T18:18:00.001-08:00

this is another good picture site!

http://artwc.org/Billie2/1210FUNNIES/1209.html

ha ha

2007-01-12T18:14:00.001-08:00

Herbal Cigaretts

2007-01-12T16:49:00.001-08:00

funny funny funny
wow! its the dude from house!

I really like the dialog. it seems to make some sense though... very simaler to monty python.

tidbits

2007-01-12T16:36:00.001-08:00

this site is designed to speed up your PC sorry mac users, windows only.

url: http://www.jasonn.com/turning_off_unnecessary_services_on_windows_xp

head on over there, it has some good info that you should look at, but read the warnings. seriously, disableing services is a bad idea unless you know what your doing.

here is a piece

Alerter

Notifies selected users and computers of administrative alerts. If the
service is stopped, programs that use administrative alerts will not
receive them. If this service is disabled, any services that explicitly
depend on it will fail to start.
Comment: I don't want my personal computer telling me
anything, ever. Shut up and work! There's few things I find more
annoying than a computer
constantly wanting to interact with me while I'm using it to do work
or entertain myself. A computer is a tool, not a friend or work
companion. No Hal, I don't want to talk to you. Perhaps there's a
software vendor that can give you a compelling reason why you need
this service, but for most home and SOHO PC use it's just an
unnecessary service taking up resources and providing risk. Unless
you are running a product that requires this service, disable it.
Application Layer Gateway Service

Provides support for 3rd party protocol plug-ins for Internet Connection
Sharing and the Internet Connection Firewall

Comment: Do you want to share your internet connection? That's an article
waiting to be written. Let me be clear. Since you can buy a router
for $50 or less, and Windows does an awful job routing, using a
computer to gateway your other computers to the internet is just
stupid. "What about firewalling and admission control?"
Well, that's not going to be done through the built-in internet
sharing tools. So, we''re not talking about that. If you use a
personal computer to gateway your other computers to the internet
(and calling it a server doesn't change the reality), you are wasting
resources. Buy a $50 router, or a $1000 router for that matter.
But, buy a discrete device that is designed to do the job. Use
hardware based firewalling (OK, it's all based on software - but I
mean a boxed solution, not software installed on a PC that's prone to
lose autonomy). And, what about all those cute third-party
firewalling tools that plug in to this thing? Man, give me a break.
If it runs on top of your Windows installation, it's not a real
firewall. Unless this is required by a product you think is
necessary, disable it.

ice hokey anyone?

2007-01-11T17:04:00.001-08:00

this is a really cool idea, some people got their hands on 10 identical (except for color) cars and played hockey with a HUGE puck.

url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Bxh4a9LKmA

I wish I could do that, I wish i had 10 cars too.

proxy and quizzicals

2007-01-11T14:05:00.001-08:00

my proxy is done, i made it vary bare bones you see. alls i need now is a place to host it! if you know any free web hosting places with PHP support, (cpanel would be nice), let me know.

feed me, i'm hungry

on that note, a very funny site came to my attention. i'm sure i'v seen theese elsewhere, but this is the most recent

url: http://rankyspanky.com/2006/12/23/why-or-true-things-which-do-not-make-sense/

oh and to understand the title of this post

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

lol, small childen, if you are a boy think of what you have if you are a girl, think of what you lack. XD

found: helpful code

2007-01-11T13:28:00.001-08:00

base href="http://login.live.com/pp450/"/



that code is going to help me with my proxy, i dont really know how, but it will!

actualy i do know how.  i just thought i would play up the drama of the moment.  with a but of php code it iwll allow me to set the base url for my proxy to a different site, thus letting me see images!

dun dun dunnnnnn

2007-01-11T13:21:00.001-08:00

so, someone already figured out how to rip movies off an hd dvd. and wouldn't you believe it, source code available this month. now all someone needs is to buy an hd dvd disk drive. $800? anyone got $800? no? i'm prolly not gonna switch to hd dvd until they have a burner and i get a tv better that my current one. but hey, that's just me

url: http://kingnutter.com/articles/view/224/

hrrmmmmmmm... i need some filler here... uh well... he mis spelled hacked..... OH! that's right there is no GUI yet that means to do it your typing the commands your self. good luck everyone. but seriously dont do it. it's illegal to rip DVD's hd or otherwise. if you do do this, it's not my doing. you take full responsability. dont you just love this world? if you do somthing wrong all you need to do is point your finger and the blame is gone.

calling

2007-01-11T13:08:00.001-08:00

hilarious!

whoever made this really put some thought into it!

url: http://callcentermovie.com/movie/movie2.html

with so many calls being sent overseas it seems kinda fitting. i really like the ending XD

descision

2007-01-11T12:48:00.001-08:00

i need to make a descision. do i stay with blogger, or move on over to wordpress. i'm kinda looking at word press what with it's better css designs and all. for a time i will be doing 2 posts instead of one (one on blogger one on wordpress). word press is really nice about handeling pics and such but blogger is really nice with its dragable template and such. i dunno....... check out my word press blog at yonyonjohn.wordpress.com

javascript tweaks

2007-01-11T09:13:00.001-08:00

this is fun, go to any web page and put this in the address bar

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300;
y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function
A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute';
DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5;
DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);

try it here and see what it does!

I'll post some images so that it will look cooler

click here to give it a shot! (it'll do the thing to your browser) make no mistake, javascript is a good language, I'm learning it in addition to PHP and someday ajax.

The Man of 100 Voices

2007-01-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

this guy seems to be an impressionist, or just really talented.
I found this on mafia blog first so "good job" here is the mafia blog url: http://mafiablog.net/mafiamedia/2006/12/man-of-100-voices.html
and the you tube url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGVErE4sTGM&eurl=

and

i loved the Amadeus one, we had to watch the whole movie in music last year.

text

2007-01-11T08:41:00.001-08:00

more often then not, some of the funniest stuff that you will see on the internet is text. yah, that stuff that those guys that use lynx see. this is an example: "He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following

conversation occurs between the two of them.

IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

MG: "No. A what?"

IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."

IT: "Yeah, thought so.""

it's always interesting to me when one person holds some knowledge that the other one does not which can lead to some very funny (but awkward at the time) conversations.

URL: http://humour.200ok.com.au/onlyinus.htm

on an unrelated note, i am out of school now. gotta love those short days! and after having some particularly delectable pizza, i have gone back to my usual web surfing and blogging. i have also been at work fixing my PHP proxy. at the moment it doesn't handle images at all. i have seen some code on hotmail's login page that might fix it. i think its " but i dunno. tell me if you notice anything that would work.

short day

2007-01-11T04:08:00.000-08:00

today is a short day at my school. we have 3 periods and then we leave at like 11:30. in my case I have English physics (with a cool teacher) and it ends with, can you believe it, a STUDY HALL! I'm prolly gonna go to my old school and say hi to all the teachers that I forgot about. will there be pics? maybe.

spiders on Drugs

2007-01-10T19:05:00.001-08:00

there was a video floating around on YouTube and Google video some time ago that showed the kinds of webs that spiders on drugs made. naturally after some time someone made a creative spoof of it

really really funny
another kudos

Slo-Mo Home Depot

2007-01-10T18:58:00.001-08:00

this is really neat, a group of people called improv everywhere did i stunt in a home depot. I have sewen another one of their videos taken in a best buy.

kudos

random blog button

2007-01-10T18:57:00.001-08:00

this is one of the coolest ideas that i have ever seen. it is called the random blog button.

url: http://randomblogbutton.blogspot.com/

the way that it is described on it's main page is: "...It's like Blogger's button, only WAY BETTER!" and it is, although the button just points to blogs that people have submitted, most of the people who submit blogs are very active bloggers themselves, and often have good content. also, when you get good content in the vicinity of blogs, it alway's seems to result in some good designs.

funny

2007-01-10T15:19:00.001-08:00

funny, but you'd have to be ok with leaving your computer unattended.

url: http://www.digital.udk-berlin.de/en/projects/winter0607/hauptstudium/laptop/fingertrap.html

very good photo shopping!

york music

2007-01-10T14:17:00.001-08:00

HOLY CRAP! what a wonderfull css design!

http://yorkmusic.com/

exept for the 2 dudes, that should be different

look at the dude on the right, i know its just shadows but it looks like he could hold the world record for largest eyebrows! he would totally totaly fit i with the guys in those sickenly repedative geico ads with the cave men who are depressed.

the css source: http://yorkmusic.com/css/screen.css

really everything about the layout (except our friend the caveman) is blended together very well

friggin a that's cool...

analogies

2007-01-10T13:46:00.001-08:00

I kinda like the first one...

url: http://www.jimgeary.com/faves/joxe/JOXETC02.HTM

WINNERS OF "THE WORST ANALOGIES EVER WRITTEN IN A HIGH SCHOOL ESSAY" CONTEST

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)

hrrrmmmmmmm i dont see a picture.......

time to ask "the google"

google! you failed me!

now let's look at the fourth result......

ah, that's better

what a wonderful world....

credit card over im

2007-01-09T16:42:00.001-08:00

"Would you mind reviewing the information that I have entered?"

He turned the monitor towards me. I expected to see a Point-Of-Sale
screen. I expected to see a nice piece of software for managing the store.

Instead I saw the familiar window of an AOL Instant Message. My heart
sank. Did he really just send my name, address, phone number, credit card
and expiration date UNENCRYPTED through an INSTANT MESSAGE SESSION?

"Does it look right?"

"My information looks fine! I just can't..."

At that moment, a reply popped up on the next line...

"It's good."

holy cow! this dude had his credit card stuff sent over the net UNENCRYPTED!

this is a very bad example of protecting your number!

http://www.davidj.org/stories/222/Credit_Card_Information_Sent_Over_AOL_Instant_Messenger.html

amazing!

2007-01-09T16:34:00.001-08:00

this boat went under a bridge.... :0

http://www.gtsailing.org/funnyboating/towboat.htm

Iphone

2007-01-09T16:26:00.001-08:00

apple has confirmed it, the Iphone is real! it was reviled today during mac world. it is a smart phone with a 3.5 inch wide screen. the tech specs are here : http://www.apple.com/iphone/technology/specs.html

I am ecstatic, because just recently my parents got very PO'ed at verizon for its poor service where we live (you know that reliability thing that they always flaunt? they did the test.). I talked to some friends and used my dad's phone for a day that was nice, since he has a razr (can you belive that it's an OFFICE phone?!) and came to the conclusion that cinguar has better service. our contract ends in October, perfect because it will prolly be out by then!

SO SEXY!!!

yes, by the end of the year, that photogenic hand will be replaced by mine and that little logo in the top will be my new provider!

algeria

2007-01-09T13:34:00.001-08:00

so, at the moment I am writing a small paper for French about Algeria. my mom does not trust me to work, so she is hovering over me. I guess that it is deserved though, I'm not working now. be back when I'm done......... ok, done. that was easy, it was just the capitol, languages spoken, and why... here's my essay-ish-thing!

Algeria
speaks French because from about 1890 to 1962 the French controlled it. Before the French had it the Muslims were in
control, thus they also speak Arabic, and at the moment the official language
is Arabic. The capitol is Algiers. Very original!

I think that last part was a good addition :)

oh and of course, pics!!!

why are the territory's so big in the southern part?

oh, because there's NO water, therefor no people!

collage

2007-01-08T20:10:00.001-08:00

that one for the day, hopefully i wont do this every day, it just that this Firefox add on makes it so damn easy! any way:

this is why you should go to collage, you don't want to work in a tiny vending machine do you?

atack of the doughboy

2007-01-08T18:51:00.001-08:00

it find it o funny that they need to put in that he is blonde. it could be dating magazine, but more likely it is a newspaper article that (not so) subtly tries to sneak in a stereo type. this was shown on mythbusters at one point, but i cant remember wethere or not it was true...

why?

2007-01-08T18:11:00.001-08:00

why do you alway's see theese banners popping up across the web?

why havent they figured out

that people HATE these!?!?!?!
perhaps their just sadists who enjoy clogging up the net... sorry dial up users1 we're gonna make you wait an eternity so that you can see this ad! zeus.... hat's another for adblock...
oh, by the way, remember to use adblock plus, it will save you lots of time and cut down on those ads... it's availavble on the mozilla addon site, http://addons.mozilla.org, it really helps and you can add your own stuff, to block the crap that you see above!

annoying

2007-01-08T18:01:00.001-08:00

this is quite possably the most annoying thing i ave ever seen...

http://www.mudam.lu/shrigley/shrigley_on-off.htm

i'm not sure wether it's done with actionscript or if it's just a loop... oh wait, it just ended! so, i'd say that it was just one long anmation, a painful one at that!

IM THE DECIDER

2007-01-08T17:27:00.001-08:00

I am me and Rummy's he, Iraq is free and we are all together

See the world run when Dick shoots his gun, see how I lie

I'm Lying...

Sitting on my own brain, waiting for the end of days

Corporation profits, Bloody oil money

I'm above the law and I'll decide what's right or wrong

I am the egg head, I'm the Commander, I'm the Decider

Koo-Koo-Kachoo

Baghdad city policeman sitting pretty little targets in a row

See how they die when the shrapnel flies see mothers cry

I'm Lying...I'm Ly-ing...I'm Lying...I'm Ly-ing

Yellow cake uranium, imaginary WMD's

Declassifying facts, exposing secret agents

Tax cuts for the wealthy leaving all the poor behind

CHORUS

Sitting in the White house garden talking to the Lord

My thoughts would be busy busy hatching If I only had a brain

the mp3: http://decider.cf.huffingtonpost.com/decider.mp3

the real page: http://decider.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

MIT Scientists Create One-Sided Mobius Pizza

2007-01-08T16:05:00.001-08:00

holy shit! is this real?!?!?! could it be what i have been searching for?!?!?!?!

Cambridge, MA: Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology
have finally succeeded in creating the long sought after mobius pizza,
a one sided pizza completely covered with toppings.

full story here:

http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/12/mobius-pizza.html

coffe with a side of art

2007-01-08T14:57:00.001-08:00

did you know there was such a thing as cappuccino art? neither did !!

check it out! http://haha.nu/amazing/cappuccino-art/

neat

2007-01-08T14:02:00.001-08:00

this is a page that has instructions on how to get songs off the net

complete with pics!

but if you want the full thing head over to the site

http://www.adamsrants.com/2007/01/06/download-almost-any-song-off-the-internet-for-free-updated/

done

2007-01-08T13:17:00.001-08:00

ok,I settled for less..... this is the new default i kinda like it. so1 what i will be doing with this blog is posting things i see, write, ect.

FURIOUS!

2007-01-08T13:11:00.001-08:00

I cannot, no matter how hard I try, get this image to edit beyond the current colors it has and black

here are some of my failed attempts.

there was a .tif image, but blogger doesn't like those

template

2007-01-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

gosh! this template stinks! why did I pick it? because I'm gonna change the color scheme of course!

(John In a Pill)

THIS IS AN ACTUAL LETTER FROM THE ARCHIVES OF THE SMITHSONIAN.

Yours in Science, Harvey Rowe Curator, Antiquities

The Five Toughest Questions Women Ask Men

World's Largest Pothole?

tee hee

...

duh

a bad lawyer

sweet jebus!

template

steps of a migrane

how to hide files in an image

Truly Tasteless Joke

lost

its better

RSS

translate this page

crowds

pedal

Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (A CAPPELLA!?)

its all

its all

The world in an A4 paper

graffiti

scribe

stop?

water drops

libws2_32.a

myes.....

mleg

drrrrr

neave

FIRAAAAAA!

PC world endorcements

PC world endorcements

Class Mencia

hilarious!

google plot!

elevator

list

AIM

time

how to pick a masterlock combination lock

so sad...

0.o

planet rome.ro: iPod with NES controller running DOOM

nothin... u?

Grand Theft Photoshop

keith

bleg

hrrrrmmmmm

true

digg part 2: the nothing post

digg

day 2 update

image

Fascinating Facts, Trivia, Interesting Thoughts

how to fly

DANGER

appendix removal

funnyest thing ever

THE DANGER

GOSH

pix!

ha ha

Herbal Cigaretts

tidbits

ice hokey anyone?

proxy and quizzicals

found: helpful code

dun dun dunnnnnn

calling

descision

javascript tweaks

The Man of 100 Voices

text

short day

spiders on Drugs

Slo-Mo Home Depot

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe

Curator, Antiquities